But you’re not really allowed to complain about any of this [fame]. You’re just supposed to be grateful. And obviously—I get it. You’re lucky and you should appreciate your luck. But, I mean, it just seems if you even hint that there’s a bad side to any of this people will be like—Liar! I guess it’s because people want to have it as a dream.

It’s funny now, like trying to socialize with people. There’s this cautiousness about people which I just find really weird.

I can’t really understand it even now. It does have an angle which is attached to something quite primal in girls. I guess people want it to define them, like ‘I’m a Twilight fan.’ That’s crazy to me. I think people really just like being part of a crowd. There’s something just tremendously exciting about hyping yourself up to that level.

Kristen [Stewart] is very focused on being an actress. I mean, that’s what she is – she’s an actress. Whereas I – I just don’t really know.

I’ve just kind of stopped doing everything. I never change the channel in my trailer. I just watch reruns of ‘House of Payne’ and ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I love ‘Cops’ – I think it’s my favorite TV show. God, I sound like such a loser.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My brain doesn’t work anymore. I haven’t any memory. I can’t write. All I can do is sign my name.

Recently I stood in the desert, far outside of L. A., and watched the sun set on a circus tent from 1930. Everywhere stood animals: elephants, tigers that should be loaded into a steam train. 300 extras in costumes raced around, the modern world had disappeared totally. Although that was totally fake, it still happened directly before my eyes! That was my perfect day. I would be gladly experience that every day. It happens continually to me: It calls itself work. That is wonderful and more than enough.

Christoph [Waltz] is stunning, an insanely nice guy. He is not only a ridiculously good actor, he is also really funny, helpful, and a good colleague. I like his work ethic. I mean, the guy has won an Oscar—and despite that he is receptive, open-minded, and not the least bit snooty. And Reese Witherspoon is the same. It may be the nicest cast that I have worked with yet—a really great experience.

It was recently. It happened while I was filming ‘Water for Elephants’ in which my partner is Reese Witherspoon. We had a scene with elephants but there were so many paparazzi around that it was scaring the ani­mals and it was impossible to film. Out of the blue, fans that were waiting for autographs had enough and circled around the paparazzi. Teens made big guys run away. It was unreal! I was pleased.

This comparison seems to decrease as the films go. Fans don’t see me like that anymore. Contrarily to the first movie they can differentiate my character and me. At the start when I did public appearances, for them I was Edward 100%. I could read it in their eyes. Many lacked control which scared me. Everything has changed and now when I do interviews I am as honest and sincere as possible. I’m not Edward and I make sure it shows.

It’s funny because I’m playing a dad in some scenes in ‘Breaking Dawn’ and I’m portraying one in a movie I’m doing now as well. I’m terrified about doing it. I don’t know what I’m going to do when it comes to those scenes. I’ve been complaining so much about having the makeup on and contact lenses. Kristen [Stewart] is like, ‘You’re so pathetic. You have to just get over it. Why can’t you just get used to it?’ [Now, since Kristen has to wear contact lens, too], I can finally be like, ‘You will know what it’s like. You’re going to be in constant aggravation the whole time.’ Which is great.

I’m glad that it’s Bill Condon [who’s directing ‘Breaking Dawn’]. I love his stuff. I haven’t seen the script yet but I am fearful about the series’ end. It’s such a great security blanket. It’s like a net. You can afford to make mistakes when you have another ‘Twilight’ film to make. After that, I guess you’re on your own.

One of the things that really annoys me about the rise of all these celebrity websites is that anyone who becomes famous—people are so desperate to prove that [celebrities] are lower than the average person on the street. Why destroy any hope for anyone else? When I grew up, looking at movies like ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ and stuff, it made me want to do things. And you don’t want to believe that someone you admire… [is an a--hole].

Every single time we had to do a threatening thing to each other—for one thing, you [Taylor Lautner] always have your shirt off, and so in the tent scene I literally grabbed your breast. And it’s very difficult to remain in the moment. Also, in that tent scene, I can’t really get over the fact that the world ‘thought’ sounds like ‘fart.’

I take way too long to get dressed, like way too long. But only for things like shows or if I have to do public appearances. Like, I’m ridiculous, I’ll keep getting changed and getting changed and then I’ll just put on the same thing I wore the day before.

The more you are exposed, the more people irrationally hate you, I think we reached a point, a peak, with ‘New Moon’ where the stories became so saturated into the culture that it started to feel normal. It’s like the tabloids don’t know what to write anymore because they’ve used up all their scandals.

I don’t know what benefit there would be to talking about it. In logical terms, if you were just walking down the street and every single stranger on the street knew your business, and came up and felt the need to comment on it, you’d just be like, ‘Shut up! Like, I’m gonna kill you!’ And it’s exactly the same mentality. I don’t really want to try and sell it either, maybe if I was selling it I’d talk about it more.

It’s weird, I think I’ve become a little less mal-coordinated in the last couple of years. I’m doing ‘Water for Elephants’ now which there’s quite a few active bits where I’m pulling around horses and stuff. I’m just like when was I suddenly becoming capable, because I definitely wasn’t.

I feel like I’m getting old. I used to go out every night when I was doing jobs, now I can’t. I want to go to bed at 9:30 every night. It’s terrible.

Um, what did I have to learn? I guess I had to learn how to run properly, instead of like—in the last two, I’ve always run with a kind of limp slash skip and I had to sort of look like I could run more solidly this time, so I spent a lot of time on a giant treadmill; like a kind of—like one of those wheels that mice run around in and got filmed doing it to improve my form. I guess that was one of the big things.

I went on [’The Daily Show’] and I was think­ing like, ‘Oh, I’ll try to be like, funny and stuff.’ I just real­ized it’s impos­si­ble to be a come­dian. You gotta be a genius to able to think of that stuff.

I took a picture with Ron Howard last year at the Oscars. I thought it was the funniest thing. I asked, ‘Is this for your kids?’ He said, ‘No, it’s for me. I want to have it on my phone.’

I have no rea­son to influ­ence peo­ple. I just want to have it all for myself. I just want some­one to pat me on the back. It’s crazy. I mean, it’s the same thing as what’s Taylor’s [Lautner] say­ing. It seems just com­pletely ridicu­lous. I don’t know why. I mean, three years ago, I wouldn’t be able to influ­ence my dog to walk. I was above [Barack] Obama. I was like, I have to agree with that. I totally agree. But it’s com­pletely insane.

I related to Tyler in that I wish I could have done things like he did when I had the opportunity. There is something quite satisfying about being a little bit more reckless and even fighting. It’s quite cathartic to just sort of randomly start hitting someone. It was fun kind of, letting all your rage go on the set.

In a lot of ways, it’s different because when you’re working with young people it’s like you’re going on the journey together. Everything is fresh to you. Whereas if you’re working with experienced people, they’re much clearer about what they want to do or bring to the job right from the beginning which is really good in some ways. But, at the same time, they’re very willing. Chris [Cooper] and I were rewriting the scene when we fought each other during the lunch break just before. I never worked with anyone who is really tied down to what they want to do and that’s that. It’s really good either way.

Maybe I just am brooding and wounded. I’m just realizing that. Nah, I’m not. You just take little steps. I’m always aware of how people are going to view things so you’ve kind of got to go halfway. If I did something playing a 400-pound woman people are probably going to judge it more harshly than other people who have been doing character parts for 20 years. Not in a calculated way but all of the projects I’m doing seem like little baby steps toward other things. The thing I’m doing now [Bel Ami] is completely different in some ways but, at the same time, it’s got a lot of intensity. It’s what I like in characters.

Mine was made out of half a bra and some wig tape, which took me 35 minutes to actually figure out how to stick on and then it just fell off immediately. You’re so obsessed whenever you have to do any nudity stuff. You’re like, ‘Yeah, I definitely need this thing on.’ And then you get there and as soon as you’re standing naked in front of everyone you don’t care anyway. It’s actually quite liberating.

The only worrying thing is that when you see your face everywhere all the time, you start to get fears of oversaturation, and that you won’t be able to do anything else. If I decided not to be an actor and do something else, then everyone’s like, no you’re the guy from ‘Twilight,’ I can’t really take you seriously.

The fans, not trying to kiss their ass or anything, the fans are always fine. It’s just paparazzi that are the ones that are nightmares because they’re making money out if it. If you’re not making money out of it they just want to watch. They don’t want to break anything. So yeah, the fans are fine.

If I could do supporting roles in things, then I’d love to do that. But it’s difficult to get supporting roles because it would be really weird most of the time. ‘Well, there’s the guy from Twilight playing the parking warden,’ or something. But I would love to do that.